Yesterday was a day much like any other.
I got up at dawn and devoted a few hours to creativity before heading off to face the more physical part of my day.
I don’t mind so much that I have to work a blue-collar job. It keeps me grounded—and right now, with the things that are going on in my life, that grounding is most necessary. It’d be too easy for me to just float away on a cloud of self-importance and get my hopes up too high as I communicate with literary agents in New York about my book proposal.
One of the most annoying things about being a creative, however, is that my level of sensitivity is outrageous.
Even as a child, perceived slights—real or imagined—would send me floating untethered into a black orbit of emotional pain. It was difficult not to feel ambivalent about it. In one respect, it was a fortuitous place to gain inspiration, but it was also quite unhelpful to find myself drowning in a pool of dark feelings whenever it happened.
When I turned to the inspirational and motivational side of things a few years ago, my idea was simply to take drastic measures to improve my life. I literally saturated my brain with every bit of Tony Robbins that was available to me.
As many who have followed this path know, once you get hooked on one of these guys, you just go deeper and deeper into that vortex and pick up anything and everything in the genre—especially, if you begin to get favorable results. And I did. I became addicted to self-improvement and accomplishment.
One aspect of Robbins’ work, that I gained—almost as a side effect of my immersion in it—was better control over my emotions.
I really did not have a clue initially how this would help me to reach my goals quicker, but that’s why he would be considered the teacher and I would be the student. Without being versed in the understanding of one’s own psychology, I noticed, you were going to be stuck on first base.
Which brings me back to yesterday.
I received an email about my creative efforts earlier in the day that sent me spiraling into the familiar realm of unproductive emotions—oscillating between anger and sadness.
It was really no time at all before my confidence waned into a feeling of uncertainty about my worth as a writer. I allowed this to continue unchecked for about a half an hour, before I began to take the controls back and change my flight path. I had the knowledge to change my emotional state and it was time to start using it.